When most people think of former President Barack Obama and former first lady Michelle Obama, they immediately think of the epitome of relationship goals. But Michelle Obama has revealed her marriage is no different from any other because they, too, have had their share of challenges over the years. In fact, the highly successful author recently recalled a time when she and Barack Obama attended marriage counseling sessions in an effort to “fix” him.
According to EurWeb, Michelle Obama spoke candidly about the topics of discussion in her new book, Becoming. She wants “young people to know that marriage is work.” When she appeared on The Tonight Show on Tuesday, December 18, she explained the importance of the younger generation understanding the true meaning of marriage and the challenges that come with achieving longevity in a life-long committed relationship.
Michelle Obama went on to share details about her own marital experiences and the challenges they’ve faced. She admitted that she initially sought marriage counseling solely for the purpose of “fixing” her husband. While it’s no secret that no one is perfect and relationships typically require effort and improvement on both sides, Michelle Obama admitted that she initially didn’t see that they both could improve.
“I was one of those wives who thought, ‘I’m taking you to marriage counseling so you can be fixed, Barack Obama.’ Because I was like, ‘I’m perfect.’ I was like, ‘Dr. X, please fix him,'” she said with a smile, as Business Insider reported. “And then, our counselor looked over at me. I was like, ‘What are you looking at? I’m perfect.'”
Marriage counseling ultimately led to a turning point in her marriage and she learned a meaningful life lesson about the pursuit of happiness. Relatively similar to Will Smith’s viral video about not being responsible for his wife’s happiness, Michelle Obama admitted she, too, has discovered that it’s not her husband’s responsibility to make her happy. That level of contentment comes with personal growth and self-care.
“But marriage counseling was a turning point for me, understanding that it wasn’t up to my husband to make me happy, that I had to learn how to fill myself up, and how to put myself higher on my priority list,” she said.
Michelle Obama went on to offer a sound piece of advice to young people in relationships. She’s encouraging young couples to remain resilient and be patient because growth comes with time.
“I don’t want young people to quit the minute they have a hardship. Because I always say, ‘Look, if you’re married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you’re doing really good.’ Anybody would take those odds.”
Michelle Obama’s Becoming was released on November 13.